Who could forget Dynasty? A soap opera where luxurious mansions and extravagant hats were de rigueur, women were seen dripping in diamonds, and champagne was flowing as freely as tap water in my house. Weddings and kidnappings were as common as rain in London, the dead came back to life (or was it Dallas?) and the super rich lived caviar-drenched decadent lives.
I caught up with Dynasty during my teenage years in the late nineties and got hooked from the final few moments of Season 1 when Alexis appeared in Court.
In a world where greed, glamour and glory were the norm, Alexis Colby shone as a fierce, ferocious and fabulous uber-bitch that we all came to love. I too worshipped the first Mrs Carrington; in my eyes she was the original Spice Girl!
Alexis’s main fun in life was to indulge in catfights with her nemesis Krystle, Blake Carrington’s plain Jane wife. These were some of the rare moments when Krystle seemed to come to life. Most of her screen time was spent going “Oh, Blake”, occasionally stretching her repertoire to “I love you Blake” before receding into the background as the series went on with some “Blake!” and sometimes just “!”. By series 9, she ended up in a coma – how could we tell???
No such problem for Alexis though. She had some of the best one-liners and stole every single scene with her fabulous outfits and outlandish antics.
But far from being just an evil scheming TV bitch, Alexis had many redeeming qualities…well…I can count one at least: she loved her children unconditionally!
And trust me, it was a very confusing situation at times for the poor Alexis! Adam was kidnapped at birth and didn’t know he was a Carrington until adulthood; Steven was perpetually confused about his sexuality but re-appeared so yummy-looking after his “extensive cosmetic surgery” that I stopped being bothered about the incoherent plot. As for Fallon, she too miraculously changed appearance in Season 5, suffered from amnesia and was found unconscious in the desert after being dropped off by a UFO!? Would aliens dare abduct Alexis Colby? I don’t think so. She would buy 51.2% of their planet, and fire them!
Alexis was married four times. Who could forget the scene when she saw off Cecil Colby by bonking him to death, and becoming the richest woman in Denver?
And her steamy scenes with resident Dynasty stud Dex Dexter that coincidentally took place in a sauna or bubble bath? Oh yes, Ms Carrington Colby Dexter Rowan was never short of male attention. Was it the eyes glittering through lashings of mascara? Or the evil smirk on her lips that made men go all soft and gooey? As Sable Colby put it mildly in one episode “Alexis goes through men like they were cheeses with an expiry date”.
Her outfits were legendary but not all were successful. Doesn’t she look like the love child of Dr Zhivago and an Ewok in this picture?
Ms Colby, how grateful we are for all those years of condescending behaviour, evil sneers, shoulder pads, diamond rings, ludicrous plotlines and over-the-top catfight scenes. You’ve been parodied but never replaced and caviar will never taste the same without you. Please come for another series very soon!
All pictures for this blog entry come from The Alexis Project